He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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