He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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