who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
