bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
