Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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