dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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