i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
