You don't have asthma, your pregnant
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dicks are not precious.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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