I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
