I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Operation Purity has been aborted
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
