The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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