Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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