Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
