I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
