And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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