i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
