hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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