I didn't shave. On purpose
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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