We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We have so much sex to catch up on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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