i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
