I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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