brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
