You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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