You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
