we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
