lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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