Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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