how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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