We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
