hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
