I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
where am i from again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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