Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize