we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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