And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize