he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
