i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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