just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
