dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
