Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
