I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
