i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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