Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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