also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
