yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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