just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
