the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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