Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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