This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
