At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
