I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
