Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
