Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
