the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize