on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
