Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
