is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He has the fingertips of a God
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