a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i now understand why vodka
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
