You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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