I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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