By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
