Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
