Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
