I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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