So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
