I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
