You're my little dorito
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
