Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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