Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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