So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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